I thought I'd do something a bit rare and post a follow-up blog, continuing on the theme of one-night stands. Surprisingly enough, I have a collection of acquaintances who actively engage in one-night stands. Not being a veteran, I was a little curious as to some of the practices/rules/codes that govern how one acts before, during and after the event. After asking a few questions, I managed to put together a few categories, so you can classify yourself/your friend(s)/that person you woke up next to on Sunday morning.
The Empath: A confident individual who aims to make the other person feel comfortable and safe. Looks to make a connection. Relies on talking over good looks (although this doesn't mean they haven't got the goods).
- Usually one who will attempt conversation as part of their 'routine'
- Rarely off-their-face drunk when looking for a hookup, drugs unlikely
- Will buy you a drink
- Pays for the taxi (if needed) whether it's your place or theirs
- No/little expectations
- Up for pillow-talk after the event.
- Is still there in the morning (if it's your place)/Doesn't kick you out ASAP (if it's theirs)
- Offers breakfast/a shower/a ride home
- Might ask for your number (they will usually have sussed out the night before whether a) you're looking for something regular, and b) whether you're someone they would be interested in doing something regular with)
*NB: The Empath is one who, despite being the perfect gentleman/lady, is more often than any of the others to develop attachment, so be wary. Whilst you'll be looked after for the night, it might be hard to get rid of them down the track.
The Cruiser: This person is easily identifiable by their easy-going nature. They don't really care (at least, they don't show that they do) whether you leave with them or not, they're just happy to have a good night out.
- Mellow personality
- Can be at any level of drunkenness (but usually has a few under their belt), drugs are a possibility
- Might buy you a drink
- Will at least go halves on the cab, if it's to their place will probably pay the whole thing
- Expectations are there, although they are probably not too fussed if you don't live up to them
- Might go into some pillow-talk, but don't expect anything too deep. Unless it's philosophical.
- Will probably be there in the morning, although it could just be because they're coming down from something.
- Will talk to you until it becomes apparent you're no longer welcome
- Probably won't get your number
*NB: The Cruiser is the modern-day stoner, someone who isn't looking for any roots (pardon the pun), and is quite happy just floating with no commitment.
The Post-Empath: This individual is very similar to the Empath, with a few slight differences; the most important one being distinct emotional unavailability, although this is usually hidden.
- Usually one who will attempt conversation as part of their 'routine'
- Alcohol is part of their night out. How much depends on the night
- Might buy you a drink
- Might chip in for the taxi (if needed) whether it's your place or theirs
- No/little expectations
- Possibly up for pillow-talk after the event.
- Is still there in the morning (if it's your place)/Doesn't kick you out ASAP (if it's theirs)
- No morning awkwardness
- Might ask for your number
*NB: The Post-Empath is one who, despite being the perfect gentleman/lady, is decidedly uninterested in anything more than a release, not from being a player, just not being in the mindset for anything more. Don't expect anything deeper, but at the same time don't anticipate a cold shoulder either.
The D@$#&! : The naming for this individual does not so much describe the person's personality, but more the words you might use when describing them to your friends. This category does cover a large variety of people.
- Might attempt conversation, might go straight for the kill
- Will probably bit drunk, perhaps pinging too
- Not interested in getting you a drink unless they think it's worth it
- Expectations
- Expect them to either leave or fall asleep
- Don't expect them to be their in the morning. Or expect an awkward morning.
- Maybe they'll ask for your number
*NB: The D@$#&! is your stereotypical 'player', someone looking for a quick night of fun and not a lot else (although maybe a follow-up booty call... If you're worth it)
So there you have it, a few categories of one-night standers. But remember: no matter who you're going with, have fun, practice safe sex, and look on the bright side: none of the above is a blanket rule.
The Empath: A confident individual who aims to make the other person feel comfortable and safe. Looks to make a connection. Relies on talking over good looks (although this doesn't mean they haven't got the goods).
- Usually one who will attempt conversation as part of their 'routine'
- Rarely off-their-face drunk when looking for a hookup, drugs unlikely
- Will buy you a drink
- Pays for the taxi (if needed) whether it's your place or theirs
- No/little expectations
- Up for pillow-talk after the event.
- Is still there in the morning (if it's your place)/Doesn't kick you out ASAP (if it's theirs)
- Offers breakfast/a shower/a ride home
- Might ask for your number (they will usually have sussed out the night before whether a) you're looking for something regular, and b) whether you're someone they would be interested in doing something regular with)
*NB: The Empath is one who, despite being the perfect gentleman/lady, is more often than any of the others to develop attachment, so be wary. Whilst you'll be looked after for the night, it might be hard to get rid of them down the track.
The Cruiser: This person is easily identifiable by their easy-going nature. They don't really care (at least, they don't show that they do) whether you leave with them or not, they're just happy to have a good night out.
- Mellow personality
- Can be at any level of drunkenness (but usually has a few under their belt), drugs are a possibility
- Might buy you a drink
- Will at least go halves on the cab, if it's to their place will probably pay the whole thing
- Expectations are there, although they are probably not too fussed if you don't live up to them
- Might go into some pillow-talk, but don't expect anything too deep. Unless it's philosophical.
- Will probably be there in the morning, although it could just be because they're coming down from something.
- Will talk to you until it becomes apparent you're no longer welcome
- Probably won't get your number
*NB: The Cruiser is the modern-day stoner, someone who isn't looking for any roots (pardon the pun), and is quite happy just floating with no commitment.
The Post-Empath: This individual is very similar to the Empath, with a few slight differences; the most important one being distinct emotional unavailability, although this is usually hidden.
- Usually one who will attempt conversation as part of their 'routine'
- Alcohol is part of their night out. How much depends on the night
- Might buy you a drink
- Might chip in for the taxi (if needed) whether it's your place or theirs
- No/little expectations
- Possibly up for pillow-talk after the event.
- Is still there in the morning (if it's your place)/Doesn't kick you out ASAP (if it's theirs)
- No morning awkwardness
- Might ask for your number
*NB: The Post-Empath is one who, despite being the perfect gentleman/lady, is decidedly uninterested in anything more than a release, not from being a player, just not being in the mindset for anything more. Don't expect anything deeper, but at the same time don't anticipate a cold shoulder either.
The D@$#&! : The naming for this individual does not so much describe the person's personality, but more the words you might use when describing them to your friends. This category does cover a large variety of people.
- Might attempt conversation, might go straight for the kill
- Will probably bit drunk, perhaps pinging too
- Not interested in getting you a drink unless they think it's worth it
- Expectations
- Expect them to either leave or fall asleep
- Don't expect them to be their in the morning. Or expect an awkward morning.
- Maybe they'll ask for your number
*NB: The D@$#&! is your stereotypical 'player', someone looking for a quick night of fun and not a lot else (although maybe a follow-up booty call... If you're worth it)
So there you have it, a few categories of one-night standers. But remember: no matter who you're going with, have fun, practice safe sex, and look on the bright side: none of the above is a blanket rule.
